Cold Nostalgia

Thursday, May 13, 2010 @ 9:58 PM

Conspiracy

"When I was little, I fell from a tree but before I did, I managed to hold on to a branch. I was up there for a long time, waiting. The silence, the pain in my arms, the heat, my heartbeat rushing. Then I finally fell. I couldn't recall exactly what happened after I hit the ground. All I could remember was the agony of holding on and the wonderful feeling of letting go."

My heart was free for a long time. It is rightly and silently beating for no one. It is already functioning well. It just means that my heart feels nothing for him. The feelings already faded away. I was so so so over him. You know why I'm writing a blog for him? Because I'm mad at him, really mad at him. I don't think we can be friends again for all the things he did to me. I can't remember the happy moments together because all I can remember is the heartbreaks he granted me. He apoligized but I don't think he deserves forgiveness. DAMN, all I wanted now is to wash all the memories away together. He has no space in my life anymore, I swear! Honestly, I regreted having him in my life. I regreted he came into me and messed everything. I'm mad at him beacause of the girl I don't even know personally (Another issue) Duhh, I don't care about them. I'm happily living my life now. I can't give details about the exact story. It's a long story indeed. Goodness! For heaven's sake, we ended up enemies. I consider him one because after all we've been through, I can't deal with this small fight. I surrender. I give up. I quit. I sacrifice our friendship. It's too much. I can't handle the suffering. I feel being conspired - the same feeling I felt before. For the pain, heartaches, and misery, I just thank him. I thank him because I've realized that a person like him doesn't deserve any worth for my love and friendship. He's so insensitive! How could he? Maybe the most regretful thing I did before was to cry and waste my tears for someone who's not worth it.

Looking back, I've come to realize that sometimes we have to be careful on dropping things because they may fall into places where we can't pick them up anymore. Just like he did to me. The trust and friendship is now hard to earn back from me. Everything has changed.

You treat me just like another stranger. Well it's nice to meet you sir. I guess I'll go. I best be on my way out.

I couldn't recall exactly what happened after I hit the ground. All I could remember was the agony of holding on and the wonderful feeling of letting go.

Labels: heartaches