Friday, March 25, 2011 @ 1:02 PM
Before my heart cries out for misery
Good day Nappy! I was now officially enrolled for summer class. Not because I have failing grades but because it is part of our curriculum. Though almost everyone say that summer is for pumping out a party or for part-time jobs, but for us BSA students, it's about going to school and killing yourself for boring subjects like Business Communication and Masining na Pagpapahayag which will be our subjects for this summer semester. I don't have any idea to what will be the set-up of our class for these subjects and who are we going to be our professors though. Needless to say, I am sure that this summer will be hopefully fun with BSA 2-1. Anyways, I already got my grades and somehow, I am satisfied with it though I really didn't put much effort this semester because I just got 1.69 GWA which was too far from my expectations. Indeed, I would say that I failed again for the nth time.
Next time, I promise, I will be working harder! How many times did I say that? A million times. Maybe it just shows that there are people who excel more than me. It is always a matter of determination, focus and motivation. I think, I somehow lack those and I hate myself for being like that. That's part of life. And I guess, life is not always about winning, sometimes, you'll get through many obstacles and hardships. Failure is a part of triumph, isn't it? *self-pity*
Home is always where your heart belongs. That's because this is where you live in with your family. Home should be the happiest place to stay at. Ironically, our home isn't like that. I love our home but it doesn't give me any peace. I can hear my parents yelling at each other because of money. Money is always the reason. It leads people to sin. Why on Earth it was invented. I wonder what earth will be without money. Is it peaceful and a beautiful place to live in? I hope so. Going back, problems within the family are inevitable. There will be no matter how you try to escape it. What I love about my family is that, faith to Allah is what we have and what we are holding on to. Though I know that imperfections are still with us, I could proudly say that, improvements are not miles away.
From what I am feeling right now, it is as if my heart is filled with misery and pain. I am scared. I fear death. I fear that when I die, my Amaal is not enough to enter Paradise. I fear about my family. I fear that we won't see each other there. It is always what I pray to Allah, swt. I pray that we will all be entering the Jannah, the perfect place for all believers. Insha Allah, it will be our next home.
I am working hard for my Imaan and Amaal. It is what my family is working hard too. We don't care about money and all the beautiful things in Dunya, we work hard for Allah, swt.
tag please 
My heart, it beats, beats for only you
affiliates
monthly archive
recent entries